MARTINI KISSES LAND

2006-06-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

GONE TO HTTP://ITSLUZYC.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

QUEEN

2006-06-22T02:50:00.000+08:00

the trip was remarkable, not exactly an educational trip for the 'kings. plainly just relaxing and fun. we even called up for massaging, watch soccer till late night, play 'kings, mask therapy, and many more. we spent more than 3/4 of the time on the bus sleeping instead of listening to the instructor and teachers. we walked around the streets during late nights, roaming around just to buy some packed food up to the hotel. doing outrageous moves and dares by the command of the 'king =D i made the girls strip off the bra with clothes on and guys topless. i know i'm mean, but thats the game for doing things over-board.
watching spain match was such an exciting moment, with all the girls sleeping after doing mask. left alone, me, jonathan and christopher screaming out GOAL for spain causing disturbance to the sleeping pigs. torres Go!
the canopy walk on the second day wasn't as boring as i thought it would be. although its really long in distance and climbing up hill on stairs continiously like its a never ending road. we headed on this bridge thing, where is connected with planks at a very high height. pictures to come soon. beautiful waterfall that i've witnessed with cool water streaming across my feet. malaysia's chinatown was plain boring, with fake goods chopping up the whole stretch of road. many people said cameron highlands is boring, but to me, it might be the opposite. the temperature there was splendid. me, felicia and tiffanie stuffed ourselves together for a bubble bath and random chats with wani, hana and christy, whom came into the toilet.
i enjoyed the trip, perhaps i've learnt some new things. thanks for the 'kings that made this trip so wonderful and enjoyable =)

GOODBYE MY LOVER, GOODBYE MY FRIENDS

2006-06-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

tick tock, the clock is ticking fast like seriously. time passes like a rocket being shot up to the sky. phew, tk trip is here. i need to reach school by 0630 and i need to wake up like super early, like the time i usually sleep. perhaps i wouldn't even catch a nap and just open my eyes accompanying the television the whole night long.

my stomach has never been empty these days, instead i feel like it has become like an elastic rubber band, which you can stretch without limits. munching food like its free. supermarket shopping was great, its been so long since i've step in there with loads in hand when i step out. i love going to the supermarket, it really makes me happy and content. adding things into the trolley like nobody's business.

went to visit my granduncle today, hope he will get well soon although i know its really hard as he broke his ribs and has this tube thing inserted and a oxygen grip i guess. its so funny how my granduncle and the man opposite him kept bothering the nurses saying aloud 'BC AR'.

its been a daily routine for us, i'm leaving tomorrow like so early in the morning. i hope i'll feel okay for that 4 days without you. i hope you finish your work completely with no half-way business. worse thing is no auto-roaming services for both of us, but i'll try my best. western meal when i get back, i'll definately miss you =)

I HOPE YOU HAD THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

2006-06-16T15:40:00.000+08:00

i just went through blogs, and i realised some just feel that no one is reading or something. but personally, i feel that who cares who is reading or whether its just a one to one blog. having an online journal is just basically writing whatever you feel, something to keep you active on the computer or rather letting oneself feel relieve about whatever is bothering.

many thoughts came into mind and i'm just so squashed up unknowing what to update on. went to lailai to eat yesterday, i sort of miss it. ate so much and ended up with an overloaded stomach. its just so funny how both of us can just laugh like mad dogs about something stupid or rather nothing at all.

i'm feeling sleepy and lethargic. but i'm going out later, i feel so reluctant. because of my stupid salary collection plan, i'm causing inconvenience for my sister and i'm so sorry and thankful that she bother to help out even though it was troublesome. its all because i've got no balls, understand?

sunday is tanjong karang, i'm having mixed feelings. days ago i was feeling excited and now, i'm feeling totally drag & lazy to pack my bag and wake up very early on sunday morning. i'm afraid something will be amiss, hope not. may my trip be fun and joyful, with fireflies and strawberry greetings =)

OVER-BEATING

2006-06-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

while i was watching tv last night at my friends house, i came across this show about people doing tattoo. i had a sudden crave of having a skull that looks gruesome at any part of my body which will not be easily exposed.

i suddenly felt like swimming, like really swim. its been so long since i bring myself up to exercise. i'm feeling abit excited about the tanjong karang trip, for no rhyme or reason. i suddenly thought of how me, tiffanie, felicia and christy going to spend our time there. no matter how boring the trip might get. i guess it will be plenty of joy with the three of them.

curfews curfews, i really hate it. my mum's back to her usual menopause state. when she do nothing other than nagging, screaming her lungs out and throwing blames. sometimes it make me want to blow up, like really leave the house and go separate ways. i know she is my mum and all and she loves me, but don't she has the word 'limits' in her dictionary. getting lock out doesn't really feels good.

JUST LIKE A PILL

2006-06-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

my days have been rather late, i feel so tired maybe due to lack of sleep. jissoc is returning in three days time, and i'm looking so forward to see her again. i lost more than ten bucks on mahjong yesterday. how unlucky was i.. weekend is here, should i be happy or puzzled. i can't go out late this weekend i guess, cause my parents are giving me their warning signs through their mouth. its really frustrating at times, listening to all those unpleasant comments they make. i'm suppose to dig out time to study yesterday but i failed sigh..

anyway, happy 18th birthday to kim carter. meeting them later on at town. suppose to be 2pm at orchard but obviously i'm going to be super late. hope i'll have a good dinner tonight

CATCH MY HAND

2006-06-08T14:38:00.000+08:00

went to celebrate for my royce bruddah yesterday night. reason? he went in army today haha, gonna shave his hair away. my hairless white shit boy will disappear for 2 weeks. i can't imagine him w/o his damn hair.

firstly, we went to s club to drink and sing. it was quite boring therefore we headed to zouk for mambo. surprisingly, i got in so easily w/o even checking my i/c. the whole place was packed as it was full house. squeezy like hell, we can't dance properly until later on. i love the ice effect,when you totally can't see a thing and smoke were just all around.
one hella good experience.

today one uncle thought i was an intelligent kid. he asked me how do i fair in my studies, i said okay. he and his wife thinks i'm lying. i'm like hell no, its even worse than okay. he said, "from the look in your eyes, i know you're smart" i was like oh thanks really, but it is totally opposite from what you think i am.

2 more weeks, i better make my days productive -_-

OVERLOADED CELLS EXPLOSION, ON MY OWN

2006-06-05T19:31:00.000+08:00

i just want to scream my lungs out, can any body save me for what i've become?
i feel like a irresponsible piece of shit, my mind is about to explode. my job, my studies and my leisure. everything is so jumbled up, i feel crap, ashamed. stop calling, i don't feel like picking up the phone calls cause i really don't know what is there to say. i've already told nick, i know theru will hate me to the extreme and hope that he will never see me again, forever. now, should i say i'm fired or i've resigned?

as i replay the songs in my multiply somehow just remind me about how i was last time and reflecting it all. my emo times, how funny i can just listen to SAVEYOURSELF repeatingly for a long period of time.

UNDERPRESSURE

2006-06-03T17:37:00.000+08:00

i just don't know how to react to those funny feelings i had.
went to discussion last night, did not drink cause i'm going home after that.
i just can't take how the people reacted towards a song that just wasn't what they think it is supposed to be just because it sounded like a vulgarity. don't they have some dignity in themselves.

met up a short while with danny boo cindy and christopher. wow! boo slim down so much but suddenly with his pants on he looks like a cina mud. standing outside orchard shopping centre playing the pocky fight was so lame, as usual. they storm their way up to discussion cause me to panic. now everything is done, so no need to hide no more. last but not least, met up with my bruddah that makes me wanna punch him because of all his nonsences.

just bought a dress. can you believe it? daphne's wearing a dress? a casual one la, i don't know if i really dare to wear it out. its so weird, so unlike me.

WALKING AIMLESSLY

2006-06-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

i feel that i've been walking through my life with my eyes closed this year.
there's nothing left in me to fulfil my future. how am i going to build them all up from step one?

last day of day camp, finally. bbq tonight was quite fun, i felt that actually my class people got a brillant brain only that they never apply it into their studies. i felt that our class bond is quite strong in a way. the way they played soccer and how we just cheer and all.

i want to go singing, its been so long.

EQUATIONS IN LIFE

2006-05-28T04:29:00.000+08:00

i've made up my mind to be a strong-headed person no matter what.
i've broke a promise towards myself for not returning home w/o informing again. i felt rather guilty. my life this year is overwhelming, i realised that it had change drastically compared to my other times. i talked about studies and the future in oneself with bryan, i felt the importance in life real hard. i don't know if i would be strong enough to stand on my own feet and fight the battle independantly. all i know is, i need confidence.

received an email from my best friend. i felt touched, it was really sweet and reasonable despite what she feels that she was nagging. everything had been such a slam, unexpected things happened. i know what she means, i've thought about that many times before. probably i failed along the way. i miss you so much and we're meeting later. its like at last, i'm so glad. i miss those time you made my sunday blues disappear. laughing and shopping like madasses. thanks for caring, i really appreciated it. i hope you know that i'm always around thinking about how you are. i wanna call you up on my phone but my line of outgoing is off. i know there's house phone but its always missed, i apologise.

now on, studying is a must and i'm going to work my ass off next month. i need to sacrifice alot of time, i don't know if i'll be able to take the pressure. i need someone to push me strong, for the weak-ling person like me falter easily at times. good night.

INDESCRIBABLE LOVE

2006-05-26T17:02:00.000+08:00

these days i felt so much love from my parents, apart from my rebelliousness and all. i think i owe them alot that no matter what i do i can't repay them exactly what they had give to me.
i randomly told my mum a few days ago that i miss this vegetarian food that i haven been eating for years. and i ate that stall since young till it stopped its business. this morning, although i never report for school and still sleeping like a dead pig on bed. she went to i don't know where just to get me what i've long wanted. i feel like a incorrigible daughter, i feel so guilty about the things i've done behind their back. i love them, but i just don't know how to open it all up towards them.

last day of school! and i'm not there, but i was lucky that i didn't attend. as i've heard mr syed's talk was super duper long. work later till 3 am, i can't go drinking with the others =( i'll get screwed later by my manager for not reporting work on wednesday w/o any reasons and not informing before hand.

my cellphone line is so retard now. i only can receive and send messages. they had cut off my out-going and in-coming calls. damn it! tanjong karang trip sounded fun on the briefing, like the fireflies, chinatown roaming and strawberry farm we're going to attend. there's so much more actually, but this are the ones that attracted me. study day camp is approaching, although it sounded quite bored, but i think i must force myself to get into it. i need to improve my studies/

i;m struggling now whether to give up my sony ericsson phone for a razor v3i. i really don't know what to chose over with.

SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE

2006-05-23T17:07:00.000+08:00

working schedule this week is rather hetic. it seems like i'm some drop-out school kid for working until 2am for closing even on weekdays. i feel that my manager is trying to tire me out. i wanted to reject this damnass schedule he had given me, but i think twice and guess i should keep it as it is. 5 working days 4 closing. no going out this week, all i can look forward to is... work and work.

recap:
went to insomia the other day after work with kelvin, jeremy and XP. i was so like underage, cause this so called well-known white skin club has an age limit of 21 for females. the bouncer didn't stop me, so who cares. multiple orgasm taste pretty disgusting, i just like hoeegarden the best beer. the live band sounded really good, no wonder my eldest sister love going there.

i didn't went home on sunday night, due to some drinking session. i was so red and i can't recover on time to be punctual for my curfew. i was feeling so reluctant to attend school the next day. i'm so sick of my result, L1R4 38 points. i wondered what the hell, i need to really start studying. just let me relieve for awhile, maybe a couple of weeks will do. my eldest sister bombed my phone, i feel quite bad for letting her being worried. i thought about the things she had said to me. i felt it was quite true, why am i like that?

my parents didn't said anything, not a single word about that night. i felt really bad, i'm not going to repeat this anymore. work later...

JUST ANOTHER STAR

2006-05-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

guess what?! locked out again. stayed over at another friend's house.
went to eat the chee chong fun i miss at the timsum area and just a plate makes my stomach full. i feel like a naughty girl, like seriously. my mum was fuming like mad. she even bought a new padlock and locked the gate as she is the only one that have the key, she has the choice whether to open anot. i was waiting outside for more than two hours, that caused me to miss my first working day. i felt terrible, like how am i going to work tomorrow.

5 working days minus today equals to 4. two closing two 11, thats alot. i'm gonna drop dead on the closing days. no more night outs =(

WHEN WILL THE CAR CRASH ACCIDENT EVER HAPPENED?

2006-05-14T01:47:00.000+08:00

ray my laviva cook!

retarded & playful bustrips, starbucks

its been long since i've went drinking and last night was not bad. gone to a new place called discussion i guess at somerset area. although everything felt completely weird at the beginning, it turns out well after that, me and fel just can't stop crashing into the toilet.
locked out again, damnit. my parents seems to just kept mum about it, that makes me feel worse. i need to study chemistry!!

EVERYONE IS CHANGING, COMPLETELY

2006-05-12T05:13:00.000+08:00

its so early in the morning and i'm still awake staring at the computer blankly. i know i need some sleep but i just refuse to get to bed. my flu cannot be cured, damnit am i down in life with such a stupid sickness, i'll prefer asthma.

oral was a crash! ms yeoh my english oral examiner kept smiling and asking me questions, i felt like dying. i came up with crap sentences and words, my mind was full of words and i felt so mixed up. i came trashing out with funny words and retarded explainations and all, which i think it wouldn't help me to score well. chinese was even worse, luckily my examiner was ms low. as least i get to laugh and like bluff my way through like answering her "err..er..er.." for so many many times. i forgotten how to say drama series in chinese. i was knocking my brains out, the word just don't appear in my mind.

went out with the three sisters, kelvin and christy. far-east roaming was long, as two of the sisters were busy searching for stuff that took them so long. many photo-shots taken, uploading probably at the next post cause i haven received it yet. bus trip to suntec was hilarious with all the retarded pose and dirty talks. headed to starbucks, every one had became a naughty child *shake heads. but the are still lovely, going out with them just made me go bonkers and laugh my ass out.

ray my working place cook that resigned, came over. she was so funny, irritating and chubby. although our age gap is far apart, even further than my eldest sister. i felt that there wasn't any generation gap and we could just easily get along with her. and also i miss ah guang, my lovely old uncle cook that cooks for me when i say i'm hungry and he calls us his wifes. things will be totally different on monday hur.

e-games again, its starting to bore me =( but its alright accompanying those little dota freaks haha. sometimes i get easily irritated but it goes off after awhile. maybe sometimes somethings will not go like what i wanted, i think i should learn to accept it. compromise, i might say so. its a different feeling everytime.

better get my ass off the computer, i'm going to meet some old friends tomorrow in the early afternoon. and as for a person like me that loves to sleep, its dangerous as i might sleep throughout no matter what distractions. good night!

SAOSIN, THE NEVER ENDING LOVE

2006-05-10T20:18:00.000+08:00

i'm have been feeling sick practically everyday, how am i going to survive with all this irritating illness when one goes another comes? a maths paper 2 today, it was okay for me although there's many i do half-way. it was easier for me rather than paper 1. i received my marks for paper 1 and i only got 21 marks. therefore i see no point in having hopes and pray that my paper 2 will save me.

i don't care, totally ignoring my parents scoldings about returning home late. going to school has been a drag for me, i can return home after 12 even though i know there is school tomorrow. discipline is disappearing haha. guess what, my conduct is fair, after all these years its the first time i received fair. the cause was because of my sleeping and number of times being late, and as usual lao shi warn me about my testimonial sigh. i cant help myself, i just naturally fall asleep even though i'm not tired. i just feel that the talkings of teacher are like sleeping pills.

browsing through many blogs of knowns and unknowns, i realised many talked about the word 'life'. to me, life is like a book with chapters depending of our life-spend. and we are so called the story-teller. there are many ups and downs, and we have no choice but to face challenges in life. i always remember this line someone wrote for me at my random autograph book in the past was ' live life to the fullest, as to a minute of sleep is a waste of time' something like that.

i'm so in love with a thai song, i can't believe it. although the meaning of the song was so deep, awaiting for a love in return that doesn't apply to me now but it sound really smoothing. i'm kind of interested in atreyu, maybe you think i'm mad for its loud metal screamo. but what caught me was the superb guitar skills, excellent =)

dear friends, so long how are you guys? i wonder

DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT

2006-05-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

examination period, i only can study during the early morning and i've been doing all those last minute work during those hours neglecting my sleep which is causing my bad eye bags. i feel like i'm getting sick, probably its just been long since i've open my book to do revisions.
my flu is getting crazy.

met up with kelvin on saturday night was great. we both stayd up alone till 4am at swensen. talking about the most ridiculous stuff and doing things that we never thought we would ever do if we reflect to the past. we both exchanged some shocking news, haha but that will be kept between us on that table.

i feel that usually at times, everyone tends to bitch about others and all occasionally. to think about it, have we ever realised that maybe we're the subject of someones topic to bitch about? everyone had their own personal reason as to what they are doing and what they feel its okay. different people have their own perspective of thinking which leads to many misunderstandings. maybe we should all try to accept and understand what choices others made for their life as to how they simply want to live it. its not in our hands and it will never be exactly how we want it to be?

starting work again at la viva this month, hope everything will be the same. i saw my liberte guy on saturday haha he looked rather weird and i was thinking deeply till i realised that the favourite part i like about his face was gone. =)

INCANDESCENT CORSETS DRAW EYES TIGHT LIKE WIRES

2006-05-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

i didn't sleep at all for the whole day, amazingly.

practical was such a disaster. my observations were almost all the same, identifying the solution P and Q was more like a random pickup answer that is no where to be found in the paper. physics was even more hilarious, i was busy adjusting the retort stand that left me hanging there wondering how am i suppose to hold my ramp tightly. after that we were all quarantine in a room for half an hour. resting on the chair, looking around makes me feel that my classmates seems to be totally starving from talking. they talked like its the last moment they can spat a word, or somehow talk loudly like they are gonna lose their voice. i stared blankly and wonder why on earth everyone is talking like that. than me and christy laughed.

mye doesn't felt like its around for me, everything is still left so normal as usual slack. i feel like i'm becoming worse than the previous year. i guess i just try to walk it through, do my best and fuck it. i'm waiting for it to be all over so that i can start working and earn some damnass money to foot my bills and buy the things i want.

BLEEDING MASCARA

2006-04-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

CRAP! sometimes life is just complete CRAP!.
locked out of house last night, i cant be bothered.
i guess my mum's menopause is on its way. i just don't feel like staying home if i'm left with her alone. she just kept bringing up things to nag on me and all. am i suppose to live with such altercations? okay, maybe not to a violent state but i mean arguements and scoldings.

maybe i'm too sensitive as i react on that thing that you told me. but this doesn't mean i'm childish or unreasonable. sorry' had become a too common word i've heard from you, which somehow totally felt worthless to me. any other people who is in my shoe will react the same way, maybe not as mean as me for my fucking character. you said security is the key, but i somehow don't seem to get it from you.

went to collect my phone a couple of days ago and guess what?! its fucking spoilt! the screen only appears white thats all. i don't know what fucking services sony ericsson provides. please don't make me return to that same place for 3 times.

WE'RE NEVER GET ENOUGH AND SATISFIED, TILL THE DAY WE DIE

2006-04-27T17:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday night at the geographer's bar celebrating my sister's 24th birthday was such a blast.
it was more of a thai kind of surroundings. many people were there, old faces that haven been seen for quite awhile. royce came down, we played the stupid direction game like for so many times. techno music was blasting, my sisters and joyce were dancing like crazy idiots. i went to the toilet for so many times, seeing patches on my skin flooded with red color.

supper after that and i went home like at 630am and head for school straight after i wash up. going to school with my alcoholic smell was really risky. i slept throughout physic practical, i can't be bothered and i think ms low smell it and she is just so nice enough not to bother me much after waking me up for two times.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE LIM & REGINA FLUCKIGER! dinner tonight is still not decided, due to my mum. she is freaking angry with me and my sister for returning home at such a time. met up with royce after school for lunch and we had yummy xiao long bao at paragon. so nice to see my white shit white boy bruddah. faster get your license so that i can be your first passenger.

MY SIXTH SENSE DONT LIE

2006-04-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

updates on saturday's:

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO..

2006-04-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

this weekend was so occupied in a way that i'm out of house, spending ample time outside and nothing other than sleeping at home.

met up with michelle on friday, it was a great catching up with each other. many things may kept us weird between ourselves due to the long rest of not meeting up, but everything turn out as per normal. therefore, thats a thumbs up. but the thumbs down is that we failed to take any photographs. her sony ericsson was brought for services and she is temporary using a no camera phone and my freaking retarded sony ericsson can't store my pictures that equals no photo-taking but i wonder why taking video will be a success. more meeting up after midsy ya.

diana's birthday outing was pretty awesome, with the bill of $800++ at spagetties at pargon, if i'm not wrong for the spelling. the guys ate like crazy, photos to be updated ohh vicky please upload and come online! eight below was sweet!!! coincidentally met up with michelle at the theatre. i caught up with flu badly, and my sitting area was loaded with wet disgusting germ-y tissues. i was so busy tearing, the cause was half from my flu and half from the movie. oh huskies!!! i love maiya. play dota after that for a short while. bought a big packet of seaweed and a bottle of drink. with the three of us, enjoying ourselves at the smoking area stairs chatting. pool later on and i didn't return home.

i feel that sometimes i really heck about the importance of studies towards my future. i guess i'll have to limit myself and create a curfew.

FLY ME TO THE MOON

2006-04-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

if...i can have a room full of pillows and nothing, so i could chuck myself to sleep so comfortably.
if...i can dip myself for a fondue bath
if...i could stare at the sky cluttered with shiny stars that are too bright for me to even fall asleep
if...i could spend a night at a yacht in the middle of the ocean
if..someone can be there for me 24/7 drawing a smile on my face daily
my life would be heaven, a life of pleasure and happiness and no sorrows.

only if all this image can be seen daily in my life, i must be the most fortunate.
sometimes in life there's just something that we can't do or perhaps won't happen
in our life. i guess life is too short to live in sorrows, currently i'm putting away
all problems. just looking forward to the every next day, a day can perhaps
change my life. its how i live it?! somethings are just worth not thinking about and
cared. happiness is what everyone wants in life, it can crop up sometimes therefore
we shall always try to watch the way we hold things. goodnight!

THE LOVE THAT CANNOT BE AMEND

2006-04-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

school was freaking lame today, it was the first time my mission was a success for not sleeping throughout during lesson time. hooray ! slept during assembly which i can't really bother how lame can the dance be to just promote international friendship day. the different kinds of food displayed just make me felt like throwing up with the way they present it and gave it seem like we're beggers that haven eaten for days.

i feel so tired, my cough and flam don't seems to be recovering. i want to go shopping, i've already thought of the "so many" things i want to get which is so impossible to acheive it now.
mye first paper is on 28th and i'll have to attend my sister's birthday celebration till 5am the day before. i think i'll just ton the whole damn time, if i'm able to make it...

currently still pondering about whether to attend the MOS party at the end of next month...

BLACK WORLD, MY EVERYTHING

2006-04-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

attending school everyday just increase the hatred i have for laoshi this days, she is going over the limit by the way she talks to me. its irritating, i merely just want to fuck care about the mock exam.

went out with crumplers and fel to town. its been so long since i've visited town, seriously. less shopping=broke season. i never foresee myself to became so broke like 2 months ago when i'm filty rich in hand. ate alot today, i hate mondays. reason: i just spend money on food aimlessly. i miss shopping on sundays with majjoc, when we just see what we like and buy it straight away without worrying about the price and all, without caring to try it before purchasing.

i saw this skull necklace, i'm totally head over heals about it. i'm gonna get it, definately. its going to be one of my best accessories because its skull. something i've been searching for for quite awhile. went to borders and checked out about astrology again, this time i found a book totally amazing. almost everything was true about my sun sign like what i know about myself fits. i can just sit there quietly and giving my 100% focus on the book ignoring distraction and finished the whole pile about scorpio. i can't really remember everything, but one thing i know is that i strongly agree i hate people to lie, once it starts the trust will never be there.

mymymy, its really hard to see a friend walking into a wrong state but all you can do is just see her drown in. stubborn and secretive, things are different as every weekend passes. you're becoming someone you never wanted to be, i hope you realise but i know you won't cause you're under a spell and influence in someone elses hands. probably it would bring happiness to you, i hope everything will be okay for you.

WHAT LIES BEHIND HAS TO DISAPPEAR

2006-04-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

oh, everything was messed up on friday for pulau ubin due to the rain that only stop after we've decided to postpone it. sandwiches and all was done, and the efforts have gone to waste. but its alright, we ate up some and we ate the packets of maggi noodles too. my "3days 2night chalet" have come to an end. no alcoholic fever at all on saturday but whatever i was sick anyway.

the first night was unexpected, we loiter around the carpark and all as we're totally unsure where to head. than we came to a conclusion to go to felicia's aunt house. everything seems totally weird at the beginning, but after we step into the house i felt really comfortable as the aunt and all were really nice and friendly people. we played mahjong for a really short period and we stopped cause we felt totally exhausted. we had a room for ourselves and we really slept for super long.

the second night we went chinatown for awhile. sat at victoria foodcourt and watched soccer and pool. staring at the television and with my medication, my eyes just kept shutting down. played pool at this place with their air-con temperature super low and me and fel was freezing. i played pool like an idiot, missing every chances of hit. really thank those who accompanied me throughout the night. had dinner with my sister when i returned home and we ate tangyuan=) so filling, with the other food and drinks.

school tomorrow, bye!

I CAN TELL

2006-04-14T01:12:00.000+08:00

my flu had lead to other sufferings such as bad cough and headache. i skipped school, but today was different i have a medical certificate to proof my absence. skipping school has been a habit for me already, taking at least about an off day in every week. my letters are so crap, testimonal yes or no if i'm getting it is really hard to say.

2/3 of my medication cause drowsiness. as i was on my way to holland v. to meet danny and guys, i felt like i was about to just shut down anytime. i'll have to bare with this stupid crap for i guess about 5 days. i thought i was late as it was already 45mins pass the time that we're suppose to meet. but when i reached, not surprise, none was there.

we headed to settlers, a boardgame cafe which is rather cheap. we played like 5 games i guess. with the shoutings and kiasu-ness really cause happiness. haha! taboo was really funny, because there was so many unexpected answers and explainations. twister the last game was so tiring. my hands ache like mad, and we stretch like crazy.

tomorrow is the ubin trip, hope it will be fun and also the following day. alcoholic fever!

here are some randomm pictures:

PRISONERS OF LOVE

2006-04-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

i stared at the computer dumbfounded when i saw the email that i've received a testimonial from you. its really hard to accept the fact how distance we are over these years. things didn't went wrong for us at all, it just drifted like a boat floating on the ocean from one end of the other island to the other. the closeness between us was something i never had with any other friends before. the trust was so strong that i never believe that i'm gonna find another like you again. i guess you're doing really well, all the best!

my nose can't stop pouring, you know how uncomfortable i felt today. with one itching eye, irritation in my mouth and flu. i just wanted to go home, but i can't cause i don't wanna miss my amaths lesson. i think its because of the lack of sleep which i have totally neglected all these while.

my mye is approaching in 2 weeks time? the first paper will be on 28th april, screw myself. i'm totally dead for not spending ample time to study. now i don't even have the mood, i just feel like scraping through everything. my school days are totally mundane, i kept taking naps. lao shi starts to irritate me these days with all the stupid threats. for example, taking her handphone camera to take a picture of me sleeping and show it to my parents. its like wtf. damnn, i need to start planning my daily routine, or else things are really gonna mess up.

crumplerss standing in line.

HOURS AND HOURS

2006-04-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

skipped school today, guess mr wong will be freaking mad at me and had totally gave up all hopes towards helping me in my additional mathematics as i was so reluctant and all.
band was great with alumnis and all is definately a thumbs up!

prize giving was crap, i had to sit there and listen to all the crappy speech just to get my prize which took like less than 30seconds. band performance was neutral and the band photo-taking was good. disturbing the guys like those days was enjoyable though it hurts when they retaliate. they never ever treat me like a girl before, i dont know whether its something good or bad.

we headed to town after that to grab a bite and then to esplanade. okay we watched this performance by this band called.... i forget. they superb! fucking good, the lead guitarist whom i know that played at laviva was so fucking good on his guitar doing his solo put me totally amazed. i'm gonna catch the saturday one with matin and the others. slackslackslack and chill. we just kept talking like the past, so funny and all. talked about bands with matin, maybe things could really work out for me in my love for music if i search and give myself a second chance to make things work out. danny asked me the reason why i quit, it was really hard for me to elaborate what the reason really is. he then invited me back to sing and try out. so i guess i'll give myself a second chance to search for what i really want, maybe it will be different and things may work out. i hope i can communicate well with the screamo singer shaun. haha

therefore tomorrow(sat), is a really long day. maybe i will be jamming thereafter esplanade performance and than addicted if its for sure. haha chaos =)

MIGHTY GRASS POWER

2006-04-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

its so funny how me and tiffanie found out today about this girl we had the same "interest" in. its like whywhywhy? why her? we kept questioning ourself like crazy, we just dont understand. pestering christy to answer my crappy questions and advice. it seems like we all just don't understand. therefore, tiffanie started to remind me about some stuff that makes me wanna pull my hair badly hahha.

braces was expensive, will slight adjustment and simple consultation cause me fifty bucks, but whatever its my dad's money. today is the only day that i took so many bus trips, but short ones. playing dota again after so long was really nice, i can predict that i will not meet up with the dota gang anymore due to some problems. all splitted up "nice and great" without any communication no more.

i want my crystal jade xiao long bao!!! i just totally can't stand girls who are so egoistic to the max. why can't you girls just shut up and sit back.

MAKE IT LAST

2006-04-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

speech day is approaching and the band is still playing in a ... state/so many alumnis, more more moreee!!! school was totally funny today during pastoral care when mrs han talk to us about some sex education which make our class guys somehow suddenly so alert during lessons. and they start doing their thing by laughing and insulting. the most funny thing, flat ipod came at the right time. so salihin, watch your damn ass mouth!

great day going out with my mum and sister that make me laugh my ass out for the whole damn time. disturbing my mum with her attitude glance back to me was totally hilarious.
i wanted to lure her to bring me for a haircut, but it failed badly with scoldings throwing back on myself with NO SAVINGS and blahblah.

my weekdays are just so packed! so stress, not with studies but with the fact that i need to stay back daily in school. which is something i don't really feel good about and it feels like i'm dragging myself to school daily. i need a damn ass good stress relieve day during the weekends, i need a break.

PLANNING A PRISON BREAK

2006-04-02T17:28:00.000+08:00

have you wonder in life whether things are really what you see and what you feel?
will it be a lie, something fiction, something unbelievable that you didn't expect?
what if the world turn its back on you, what will you do? what will you react, what will you feel? are you just gonna end your life?

nobody can always be the 100% honest chap. no one can always be 100% truthful.
people grow up and change their thinkings as they undergo obstacles through life. being strong inside is really improtant thus, really hard to withstand the on-goings.
sometimes in life you can never know whats behind you. what are your friends talking about you, are they treating you in a right way and all.

trust is a very strong word. its hard to believe and hard to show, therefore its hard to keep. in life, there is always these two words: who knows

i'm writing this is because i suddenly feel like to, some random thoughts. not feeling emo here, so don't misunderstand. =) always look on the bright side of life. no matter how crush you feel, remember there is always someone there for you and dont give up.

EMBERS AND ENVELOPES

2006-03-29T20:33:00.000+08:00

today was great going out with kelvin after so long. i can't believe how happy i felt seeing him haha. its been so long since i've quit laviva and all =) i know kelvin, you maybe reading my blog. therefore, i wanna say to you that, lets go out again another day not with my uniform and maybe with the other group of guys if we're all still close haha. off day must call me hur. thanks for the dinner treat. band was pretty alright, but my juniors are still so unclear about their parts.

i have a sudden interest today about wanting to study more about astrology. i find it so true, like my horoscope sign character and all is so similar to myself after looking through books at borders. i think one day, i should just go get some books and learn more about it. so that i can not only know myself better and also to know about others and at least have a rough understanding like how are they like. some people may find horoscope hard to believe, but for me i believe in it somehow strongly. i'm not superstitious by the way.

i know i shouldn't be affected but somehow i felt quite sad and it totally spoilt my happy mood when i saw just that change on your profile.

i feel so vexed and frustrated listening to the problems about love from others. it cause my head to ache badly, i really dont know how to help them and all. sometimes i'm just afraid that i would console or tell them the wrong things through my own opinion. relationships are just so complicated hur?

LETTERS TO YOU

2006-03-28T19:19:00.000+08:00

today was rather slack. took cab to school, wearing slippers and all. skipped physical education cause i purposely never bring my attire and with my slippers, what sports can i do? additional mathematics test was crap today, i stare at the paper for freaking three periods and just scribble nonsence on my foolscap. my mind was a total blank although its an open book test.

cip was visiting farms such as coil, fish, vegetables and plants with the elderly. looking at the chunks of frogs croaking and the amout of flys stuck on the paper gives me shivers. i have a hatred for frogs now, i find it totally disgusting.

now i'm at majjoc house, her house is full of snacks unlike mine. haven met up with her for quite awhile already, everything is still the same. so fast like how time flies, i've already known her for about 4-5 years?? her mum is so nice, she cooked delicious nuggets for me. haha

by the way, thanks to the girls that was on the bus with me after cip. i laughed like crazy, maybe i was just acting super mad. pc lesson today was also freaking funny, thanks to the freaking magazine that caused me to sit infront of laoshi to finish my worksheet. many cryings equals to laughter for me haha.

everything felt so funny today, i feel paranoid.

MOMENTS FOREVER FADED

2006-03-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

2 days in a row going home in the morning at around 7-8am.
this must not continue for the other weekends.
i cannot follow my sisters style haha cause i feel bad to my parents when they start saying that i treat the house like hotel and blahblah.
redwine and mahjong at edmunds house. shisha at arab street will be our next hang-out place. the ambience was great, although sahara maybe a better choice.

time pass so fast, the weekend is almost over. i'm so tired of going to school, i guess i start to lose motivation already. i need to study really hard, april is approaching that means another month gone and i'm left with like6-7 months.

majjoc i miss you too, but i've busy and i haven called you lately doesn't mean i forget you hur. hope you're free on tuesday with no dates so you'll be likely to go out with me. ahahaha!
i'm having complicated thoughts in mind but i think its just best if i don't think too much and just get on with everything. everything is going smoothly though.

BEGINNING OF THE SEASON

2006-03-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

everyday seems to be so tiring for me. days passes so slowly these days.
will i ever be focus enough to study? haha it seems like my fun will never be over.

i need to go massage badly, my back aches. cross country today was wet, disgusting and fast. it was raining and the race wasn't called off. the cheer was so oh damn fucking lame. went to eat dinner with the whole lot today, still as cheapo as ever. they rather buy their drinks at the supermarket haha. plans called off and off and off. i'm super broke and i still got my bills to settle damnitt.

mum and dad will be going cruise tomorrow! yes, i think i'm gonna be home really early in the morning haha. surprisingly, my mum didn't even get mad when she saw my sister's piercing. sometimes, things are just unfair but we've got to accept it. guess that i'll just be the way she wants me to. no piercing on my face at all, thats me the only one among the sisters although i urge for one badly.

i want more dinner with my sisters, crystal jade was a not so great one though. cause everything was such a rush. more to come more to come. its been so long since i've gone out with my eldest sister, guess she is really busy with her new job.

i want that country road bag, although i'm not so sure which one was the one that caught my eye. by the way, they are selling it so expensive here in singapore. guess i'll have to check through the website and ask lydia to get it for me.

HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH HEAVY HEART

2006-03-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

chinatown and clarke quay last night.
sentosa today, everyday seems so relax and totally slack. leaving house late and coming home really late. tomorrow is when all this end, school is back. its crap, i haven even finish any homework yet.

i'm trying to make decisions now for myself rather than following what other say. i'm trying to not repeat the past, and make everything go so wrong. i wonder if i'm right, he's got to show it.

THE ACADEMY IS

2006-03-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

yesterdayyesterday

went for band, alumnis came. really felt great to see them again. who knows in the future we might not even contact each other anymore. mr yeo didn't come down, so as usual sectionals
and then later on we had drills.

went for lunch after that, w/o the alumnis and they didnt't informed us that they were going to play soccer and we waited for them for quite awhile outside school. get on with long john and i just can't stop disturbing small martin. the only guy with such a beautiful rosy cheek. he tried to ignore me and resist his laughter but he failed. haha i guessed he was super irritated cause he pulled my ponytail for like more than 5 times and i had to redo it again and again. heard about the new guest singer that is going to sing for the rock band. a shocking one, shaun wong? and they are going to play underoath. damnn, nice band man i bet his throat will be dying due to all the screaming. really would like to take a peep on the jamming. haha

went to addicted at night, drank and played games. freaking funny, cause weiren kept putting scissors. some conflict after that, but everything is alright now i guess. cause they both went drunk. felt really affected with some stuff that make me feel super confused and dont know what to do. went home like at 4+ am i was like frustrated cause some fucking bear just can't stop crapping. haha

SEESHA NIGHT

2006-03-17T01:33:00.000+08:00

yesterday was great thou its abit rush. went to meet up with my long-time-no-see friend jissoc that is going to leave spore like on sunday, with regina. we walked around and around than we come up with a conclusion to just go to reggoc house to slack. after that i went to meet fel at bras basah to study and it all turns out into a scribbling session.

went out with my second sister, its like its been the longest time since i go shopping with her. so i kinda force her into it, as my gig plan was cancelled cause jannah can't make it and i don't want to go there alone like a nut ass. i make her miss her work today, big apologies as i've made her feel super guilty about it. bought a bag which i didn't plan to get and i force my sister to get another one that caught my eye at the other shop, so that i could also use it.

met up with some other friends later and we went to spinelli to slack awhile and than we headed to boat quay for seesha. baileys yumyum, we played stupid games. blowing smoke on each other face and getting choke. the surroundings of that pub was nice. later on, it seems like a stoning session and than again the jokes and laughter came. we sat there for like hours than we went to grab a bite.

i didn't expected my gastric to make me feel so uncomfortable even after i ate the fishball soup. my body ache like crazy and i felt like puking. probably its due to seesha hur. and here are some pictures of yesterday today and whatever. haha

HAMMERS AND HEARTS

2006-03-13T16:54:00.000+08:00

wondering if i should go study and meet up with fel. supposed to play lan today, but i'm kind reluctant to get out of home. i think today shall be the day i stay up at home and think about everything that has been happening. i've made up my mind, i know my decisions. this could not be happening to me. i would not let myself drown again, 20 hours deep makes a big difference.

its so funny how people can just express themselves like that. i don't really understand why. for example, with lies and all that make them another person to con others. its creepy as to will they ever know what consequences would come over them? for the wrong signals and all, it maybe so true until it reveal and make someone feel like a fool perhaps. i dont really understand everything around me now. the wall inside me is starting to grow strong, i'm afraid i'll come to a stage of telling people to really FUCKOFF.

Two hundred miles away from home.
Two hundred miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs.
But you don't care at all
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs, oh my lungs.

GIVING IT AWAY

2006-03-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

there was ups and downs today.
met up with madj and we headed to expo to wish people happy birthday.
than we left for town with hungry stomach and couldn;t help but wait for time to past fast as to reach samantha's working hours. went to starbucks to slack, as usual snap alot.

our tired legs, it was kind of a heels day haha.

panorama thats what my phone wrote

up against the wall

than after that i went to meet the others to chitchat and celebrate linette's birthday. we talked like crazy and laughed the hell out. it somehow took my sadness away. we sat at mos burger for the longest time and the two idiots cant stop talking about their boyfriend. therefore, me and beeting went to starbucks and got a small cake for linette.

birthday girl

it got me real hard today, speechless, that maybe the worse word to me. however, i felt really depressed, i dont know whats with me, whether i was agitated or disappointed. until now, that drained feeling is still in me. i dont understand why i'm feeling this way. so sorry bestfriend, perhaps i was hard on my words. i'm over it, lets forget it.

NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW

2006-03-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

thats my lifetime favourite song.
yesterday was such a long day. i came home like twice which was so tiring.
went to take my o level giro form and than head back to school for band.
full band was better than expected, improvements.

went to collect my phone
went to meet the sisters and head to esplanade
meet the dota gang
went to addicted

meeting with the sisters really put a smile on my face, as we start to joke about everything and acting stupid like the yoyoyo. dota was hard, damn my classmates are good hurr.
reached addicted and saw my friends drunk. and i got some stupid forfeit to drink jus because i was late. it was so funny like me and edmund cant stop giggling about lil things that was so minor. went home at 4am that makes me feel so dead and someone took my watch ass.

woke up in the afternoon and i started to have flu. it was so unexpected for my self to wake up so early. still thinking whether i should go ms later anot? probably not hur, see how my flu goes later.

NOTHING FEELS THE SAME ANYMORE

2006-03-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

i'm freaking bored online after watching laguna beach.
i just dont understand why mtv kept switching the time slot and make me miss it somehow if i don't check the guide.
supposed to meet jiselle and rejjoc later for dinner, but it was cancelled due to rejjoc orienatation. probably other days hurr?
my blog is boring with no pictures, damn i'm gonna collect my phone tomorrow. hope everything will be perfectly recover and tomorrow is going to be a really long day.
why do i always leave a bit of message that is about you. crap ya its all crap, everytime somehow this and that and whatever will remind me of it. nothing feels the same anymore, now i know what it means.
fuck i'm getting emo, after listening to the chinese songs which i haven hear for quite awhile. now i know why i'm feeling in this way for this couple of months. thought about it crap ya crap so crap. this will never stop..

CIGARETTES & OPEN AIR

2006-03-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

i redo my narrative composition last night and it took hours as i edit it again. it turn out so much better than the previous one. not suprising, i slept in chinese class again. geography was funny today, i don't know how to explain it but it was hilarious like the remarks some of the classmates said and ching followed along giggling.

every band practise seems to boil my heart, i will never have the chance to not scold anyone unless i'm feeling sick. band practises are completely different now, perhaps for quite awhile already. nothing seems to be pushing us on, even the committee and all i feel that we let loose. but whatever it is, speech day must be okay.

today my sister saw rudy, that bachelor tennis guy that made me go googaa over. i hope i could just teleport myself to the location. he is tall and all, my sister said he looked okay.

by the way, i bum into my workplace bartender kino today at newton station. he just look so young and i still can't accept the fact that he is 28?! he said that he is going to quit laviva soon and go over to oriental to work. i felt quite disappointed like i won't be seeing him at laviva anymore. everyone seems to be quiting over there, i felt so guilty for doing the same at the month of January. i feel like helping them out, but i'm too lazy to work as a confirm part-time server with schedules. therefore, informed my manager that if they need workers last minute they could just call me up. i really miss working there with the fun of the bartenders and kitchen staffs.

i cant seems to handle my confusions, am i being someone i don't want to be? everything that was said somehow link back to you and all although it was nothing about you.

SADNESS?

2006-03-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

life is hard hurr?
it can never be perfect. i dont know why whenever i gets upset, i would like to do a piercing. maybe you think i'm crazy, those times i had like my tragus and all, i've get rid of it. i dont think piercing ear makes any difference. this time i really wanna pierce at below of my bottom lips at the side. my mum will never agree in my suggestions, she hate piercing like mad. i think it will fit me really well, my sister say it will change my life totally. i'm not that superstitious but should i still take the risk. i'm really down due to some matter these days, hope everything will turn out better.
mummy i love you!

HOTSUNNYBEACH

2006-03-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

the long chalet of 3days2nights was pretty boring. alcohol fever wasnt present, the bottle i brought wasn't finish at all. bbq was completely lame with the amout and varieties of food we had. the amout of ppl decrease daily. sleepless nights due to no bed and disturbance thanks to siwei the one that took my sleep away and edmund for putting his heavy leg above my body thinking that i was his bolster. the couples was so cheesy and together during the whole period of time. all we do were talks, going to the beach, swimming at the pool, watching tv, eat and sleep. no games no fun. i think the best was the first night when we did our jungle walks and the long chat of funny things we talked walking around the beach and sitting on the wooden plang with edmund rodney ron and weiren. smoking cigars, listening to the wave(was there any?), chilling wind and talking cock about life and all. it was just plain and simple my hours of sleep decreases like mad with no drinks and all at the chalet. haha glad i'm back home, so comfortable... i want to go to the beach to tan my body up till i can really see a fucking far difference =)

SMASSHHHH THERE GOES MY BEST BROWNIES

2006-03-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

i'm so fucking sad depressed fucked up. i spent time searching on the secret recipe of my brownies for so long. beeting came to bake with me for like 2 hours. the cake look so good and delicious that we cant resist our temptation to make extra pathetic small cupcakes. nec ten minutes or so, i went to show how beautiful the cake i made was than after returning to the kitchen the cake jus slipp off my cloth. beeting was like 'daphne!' i was like FUCK! although its smashed yet clean, cause my floor is clean and i clean the smashed part. but the problem is i'm depressed cause all our efforts on that beautiful cake had just turned into broken pieces. i took it up to eat, it was so tasty, beeting too and she brought some home. i was really touched by the fact tiffie still wants to eat it, never mind i'll bring the cupcakes one too. i'm so sorry edmund, perhaps my (shit)cake is a better option that i could do it conveniently when i reached your chalet. i'm still sick, i need a wizard to cast a healing power on me. ABRADACABRAAAAA!!!!

UNSTOPPABLE RUNNING-NOSE

2006-03-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

i feel like i'm suffering worse than fever. my unstoppable running-nose is driving me nuts. i felt so lethargic today so i guess the whole time in school was nothing but sleeping. sneeze like crazy and wasted tons of tissues you'll never believe the amout like i've never before. i rub till i really felt that my nose was running off. i need to bathe and probably sleep early tonight just to recharge myself. followed on is the continuing pictures of fine-dining:

having retarded thoughts lately thinking that my predictions might be true but i guess its just a GUESS.

SHIMMERS MY DAY

2006-02-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

oktheres just so much to say about today, the on-goings was just terrific!
it started out great during school hours thou i was abit giddy due to lack of sleep i guess.
the class value was funny though it came out abit lame with the woo-ing and clapping.
fine-dining came along really well, coach luke was like... okay no comments. waitwait, here i present you my partner so called date:

JONNY whom call me sweetie although its abit sick but i still accept it hahha. the food was like WHOA yet not really that delicious. our table was the noisest, talking louder playing true or dare and taking photos which we're not likely to be doing. and these are the people at my table:

THE GENTLEMEN

THE LADIES, and the followings are the class random pictures that i received:

and the picture i love best today was>>> cause it looks funny

it end quite late and we went on to town to watch final destination 3 which was so gruesome and our class guys was so noisy. i just think its super funny at that part when the girls was enjoying and shaking their body before they get burnt. the guys that watched it should understand what i mean. they are super bimbos! after that we went on to play lan DOTA together till like 11pm.

its the first time the class goes out like that. hope there will be more opportunities as i enjoyed it. =) thanks people. many more photo to be uploading for fine-dining, this is just what i received today as i guess the others are all already in bed. so sleep tight dont let mosquito bite bite. hahaha

2006-02-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

i felt so lethargic today, aint know why. probably its because of that book that decrease my hours of sleep. everyone is so excited about fine-dining which is like today?? i haven prepared much for it, such as my attire and stuff. jonnyy, i hope i dont disappoint you haha.
went home and had a great sleep then meet samantha and madj at town for swensen. great baked-rice and earthquake! although we only spent a short time together but i some how enjoyed the moments. the funniest thing happened in the toilet then.

photo-takings as usual =)
and here comes our earthquake::::

went to madj house after that, slack as usual. and madj thanks for helping me upload things and stuff. went to play dota after that, sometimes i really dislike playing with people that can't control their mouth after they lost. its irritating like since there is no sportsmanship and all you're considered such a loser.

2006-02-26T16:16:00.000+08:00

this weekend was so fucking boring. i stayed at home for the longest time, sleep like there's no tomorrow. plans was screwed, staying home just lead me to become depressed. i really "hope"
i don't have computers at home at times. cause when i'm bored? i roam around websites non-stop just to not make myself feel bored. but after then i realised i've been going round in circles on the same fucking damn page. this time the ps is completely dead.
friday's band was screwed as well, i scream and shout at people till my head starts to ache. fuck them for thinking they own the band, they think its so easy. my juniors can't even fucking play a piece. maybe it isn't their fault, probably i haven been strict with them at all. and when i start to yadayada at them, one wanted to change section due to my strictness. took some pictures during band for mrs poh. upload soon when i received it. last but not least :

this cute lil boy called le yuan. the way he laugh and talk is so squeaky.

MUMMY'S DAY

2006-02-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

helloe!
yesterday was such a great mummy's day which equals to my mummy's birthday =)
it ended up with late dinner and so on, so after like so many names of restaurants and disagreements. we came up with a conclusion to just go marina square and see whats appealing.
so we went to this restaurant called pariss, its something like the lower class of the line in a way. haha

look at the nice ceiling full of these lightnings.

the amout of food taken in one table

its was such a great day so i took some pictures alone with my mummy and deborah kept saying: i also want, i also want.

look at the way my sisters boyfriends stared at each other. haha

this is my dad whom look like a body builder with what he wore.
so we go on eating non-stop, the food was just okay compared to the line. we three sisters got irritated with my dad cause he just can't stop taking pictures and ask us to smile (it always happened when he have his camera out with us)
so we called over to Japan to wish our close family friends dad a happy birthday too. the conversation was so funny, like how we talk and my sister did the dumbest thing. she thought it was Eikko's birthday so she asked the father to wish her instead. the whole table was laughing like crazy. so after the wonderful dinner, phototaking continues:

okay this is my body builder dad!

familey photo, i look so crap in all pictures that day. fup!
so after that we sisters went for midnight movie and we watched fog. its just the sound effect that makes you jump other than that it was alright. we reached home like 2-3 am i was so tired went to bed right awayy. i skipped school so i slept from 3-6pm haha.
so after so much confusion and all, my fine-dining partner is jonathanteo. hhaha thats all for todayy~

THE PSALM WILL SOON RECALL ME AGAIN

2006-02-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

sleepyy morning... our class has expanded with additional of 6 repeat students.
i think you hate me for that, but maybe i'm wrong but i know its just how i felt i should.
went out with a group of classmates to town, while they are eating me and madj went somewhere else. bought my mum's present because its her birthday tomorrow. so coincidentally, we bummed into samantha. the way her parents wants her to lead her path is rather an interesting one that i've never heard before. it sound super interesting and caught me, but i know it isn't my path of route but maybe a try out.
suppose to go servicing for my phone but the sony ericsson was closed due to annual holiday on the 21st. what the hell! went to shop around with the others as they were searching clothes for fine-dining nec tuesday.
fate doesn't lead me to you. its so obvious it wasn't meant to be. the photos of you just put up a 'stop' sign in my head. can i fight through?
it was the first time me madj and christy kept dragging time like forever just to look at things. christy bought a pair of heels that i love and a skirt, and i bought a pair of heels that she love. its so funny like how the whole process was. then we ended off at the last stop, macdonalds to grap a bite.
2 super malu-ating things happened today:

madj took a skirt for christy to try out and its on a discount. when we reached the counter, the counter said it isn't this that was discounted and this is a maternity wear. three of us just stun there and was like 'okay'. so we went to check and got the correct similar one only that its not maternity wear on the other corner.
we went back to collect our heels and madj found a top-shop bag on the sofa and said to christy: omg! christy you left your topshop bag here??. and when she was about to take it, someone from behind hold her and say: sorry this is mine.

okay it isn't really funny when you read it, probably you wouldn't even understand. you need to be present than you will know how dumb we were.

WHAT ARE MY GOALS

2006-02-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

how do you feel rushing for the damn train in the morning?
how do you feel when you get really bad cramps?
how do you feel when in the midst of playing battlenet your com just shuts itself?
how do you feel when you come home and the first thing you hear is your mum's nagging?
how do you feel after having a really long afternoon nap after so long?
how do you feel when you need to pursue in life?
how do you feel when people just don't understand?
how do you feel when some friends are being nice just for the sake?
how do you feel when you think that you are the one thats making the house so messy?

i know i sound depressed and all but i'm not. its just things i thought of today in my life.
bad hurr? why do humans need to catch up in everything just to make their life special?
isn't it abit too stressful and not-worth? would you rather have a great youth or great old aged?
i feel so exhausted after i woke up, maybe it was just too long.

never have i forget your name, your everything that i know.

I'M CONTENT WITH LOSING

2006-02-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

the weekend was great!
went out with d-roy-al-s today haha, watched pink panther and we laughed our ass out like non-stop. feel like punching the man as he was so freaking lame to the limit. he can't even pronounce HAM-BUR-GER. okay then there was some weird guy that sit beside madj and try to do some funny thing but i guessed his plan jus goes down the drain as we girls are not so dumb. i stared at him and he don't even dare to look at me, than after awhile he left.
no shopping today, we budget man. we went to a air-conditioned kopitiam to eat haha. went to starbucks today as samantha is working, she look so cute and funny. cute because she look so small and funny because she looks smaller behind the cashier =X. haha
after so long, today is the only time we took so much pictures and a video which was so funny and lame. okay, this are todays pictures:

=my braces-less teeth, although it looks abit sick.

=best picture of the day!

=us and samantha during her breaktime.

=another one

=content looking

=and last but not least, thanks to my dear friend here that make me so happy today. =)

2006-02-18T17:25:00.000+08:00

went esplanade with the sisters last night.
roof-top slacking, singing and snapping shots.
than i became sick and went home early.
today i was just too lazy and tired and bored, i don't feel like leaving the house though. i missed the gig at substation. so sorry to the sisters that i didn't make it with them/
so i've been home watching tv, eating and thinking about things in life.
and at last i've made up my mind to quit the rock band. there's a couple of reasons why but i don't think i need to say it out to explain myself.
had a long talk on the phone with regina, she is back in spore just yesterday. she is just a friend that i find so much trust in and also madj. we can just talk about anything even it can be a little embarassing. some friends around us are just so hard to trust as you'll never know what they would do to you.
life has been such a confusion, since then.
omgomgomg go watch the cleo bachelor. rudy is cute, haha now i dare to write his name on my blog. =)

MARTINI KISSES LAND

2006-02-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

now everyone is gushing out to get the form to go to malaysia after hearing the news of price deduction. luckily i got mine early and i hope i'll get the chance to go for it and also my friends or else its gonna be so disappointing.
i just don't want to leave my house this morning, i'm like so exhausted. my dry and painful throat (despite the tons of water i've drank) and my sleepy eyes make me feel super reluctant to attend school today and as also, i woke up late. i just didn't hear my phone's alarm ring and its getting so silent for me. i don't know why but i really like english class and its the only lesson i look forward to, maybe because its mrs poh i dont know. geography classes is getting better, i somehow like the way mrs ching teaches us. she is not as bad as what others think of her. ohh haha i can't believe i;m saying all this things which i usually never. oh wells but i feel that no matter how nice and thoughtful ms low is i just don't have the interest in physics. its nothing much to do with her, probably i just don;t like science.
skipped that learning journey today, no teacher caught us or bother about it. its lame anyway it doesn't help us in anyway. missed jogging today as i caught up with flu just as it was going to be time for it.
tomorrow i need to be nonono MUST be on time for school to inform mrs han and mr wong that i'm leaving early from school tomorrow for my braces appointment. at last, they drag the date further 2 months and i feel like killing them. but its okay cause its tomorrow and time flies. i hope my teeth is still in good shape. BRACES-LESS. =)

I WILL NOT LET THOUGHTS CONTROL MY MIND

2006-02-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

its so funny that my mum said this to me, "go out with the guy la". i was like are you mad as it was the first time she said such a comment. valentine's day was alrightt but it was such a tiring day with a course ended at 530pm as it was quite a useful one. during the course me christy and tiff was sitting together with our cellphones on the table. our phone took turns to vibrate it was quite a funny scene cause the coach was quite disturbed about it i guess and we started to snap photos.
and today was pretty fine, during english lesson we discussed about whether we feels sporeans have poor manners. and i definately agreed, perhaps i'm one of them haha. during chinese class laoshi was quite lame. she call me aaron and all the sleeping gods. i swear i dont wait for her lessons just to sleep, its just natural when she starts to talk and all my eyes start to close. so she came up with this idea by pouring her axe oil on this fake flower and put it infront of our eyes when we sleep.
i've decided to take on that geography+ss trip to malaysia, as i thought it might help abit for my studies. banking and business needs good humanities k and now my humanities are way too bad. i dont know whether i'm really aiming for those courses or perhaps an institute. wait till the mids arrive and then i know where am i and all and not have high hopes.

THANKS FOR YOUR PERFECT COMMENT

2006-02-13T19:17:00.000+08:00

oh my tennis guy he is so good-looking. he appeared on the magazine and i'm like freaking out. okay nicer to say 'out of control'/ my mood was totally ruin by some of my childish classmates that refuse to pass me papers.
everything was alright after that, but my throat continue to hurt. just today, i realised that o's are super importantly and life is too short for regrets. hearing sadness and regrets from my friends really hit a loud gong on my head. this is getting crazy and i hope that this matter will stay in my head so i will have determination.
bummed into a primary school friend called weishan, it was great to see her. she changed so much, more feminine from my view and she lost alot of weight. talking about the crazy old primary school days really make me miss those days. fasterrr! lets have a party again.
went to search for korean supermarket and bought a whole lot of snack. its super delicious especially the kimchi and my roasted seaweed. yumyum
what a funny/shocking/frustrating day but still i'll like to end it with a big smile =D

SICK AND TIRED

2006-02-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

this is totally shit, everything was heal except my throat. every morning i wake up my mouth feels super dry like never before. i've been drinking more water than usual but it didnt help instead the pain hurt even more.
dota and all. its been getting boring though perhaps its because i kept losing and dont get the fun of it. watched fun with dick and jane with royce, okay everything was quite silent. i realised he is the only guy that i must always pick up a conversation to talk about. although we are close, it just seems really funny and the look of him brings me laughter. that was our first movie together haha after like a few years of friendship.
hahaha! the movie was oo-kay, only a few funny moments and the others was plain.
had jamming yesterday, luckily there was jamming studio available or else the guys are gonna blame me. act appalled was nice, the others was plain okay. i was in a midst of losing my voice cause my throat is already creating problems for me before the jamming day. is everything gonna work out? i hope so.
you know what, its not so good for such an insult to a person.
i dont care if you're fucking joking. but this fucking joke or insult is ain't fucking pleasant neither funny. watch you own fucking mouth. through so long after since we've met. you've become such a fucker that i never want to even talk or hang out with you. so stop thinking i feel good being out with you when i dont. mind your words, its not going far, wait till it returns to you or probably had an impact on your life. actually it already had an impact on your fucking face just that you dont realise. its so much for being such a good friend. thanks alot.

CIGARETTES & OPEN AIR, HAND IN HAND

2006-02-09T17:32:00.000+08:00

horoscope for today:
That long distance matter is about to come to an end, in pleasant fashion, believe it or not. Now, isn't there someone else you should be calling? Someone you haven't spoken with -- or at least haven't spoken intimately with -- in far too long? Someone you know you should share this with? Of course there is. And then it will be time to concentrate on other important things -- like work, for example.
there is someone i know i should be calling or perhaps talk to but do you think i will pick up the phone and call him up or messaging him some dumbass words. the answer is no, its quite an obvious answer. i'm not those kinda mushy mashy girls that do those things. guys may think i'm horrible, senseless or even "dao" but i don't care. i'll never let the person i miss know that i misses them.
2.4 today, okay i wont say how long i took but all i care is i've passed. chinese test was horriblee, reading through about 5 long passages. brainstorming! non of us finish in time, it was too much too long and too little time. skipped learning journey, postponing it for myself to next thursday. what a lame excursion, taking a ferry to know more about port? making of oil? its not like we're gonna work there in the future and they make it so compulsory is it just because the ferry cost the school a thousand five?! so many people were absent today, boringg.
i really hate the new sitting plan they had set up for every lesson, because of who? Miss Tay Yan Ling. i don't know why she kept complaining to laoshi and making such a big fuss. i know she cares, but since she know we don't give a damn why can't she just hack it.
okay one picture i took yesterday with beeting at the band room after she played all the pieces she memorised on the piano:

THE BEGINNING

2006-02-07T18:18:00.000+08:00

i feel like shit in the morning, i felt like vomiting umpteen times. i kept turning to tiffanie and say the same thing "ohno tiff i think i gonna vomit". the feeling was just so bad, pe came along and it was 2.4 today. luckily i was a pacer for tiffanie as i wasn't well enough to run such a long journey. ss came along and the scene began, i started to warn tiffanie about it, i was telling myself okay okay 5 more minutes to recess. but i couldn't help it and i ask for permission and walked so fast tothe toilet and i started to puke, ignoring who the hell was in the toilet.
after that everything was alright, met up with kim and madj. gossips and eating, the usual stuff
we usually do. LIKE THIS:

anyway madj, whatever it is we need to be strong. thats one of the serious weakness every woman holds. we can't be always soft-hearted leaving the way the guys wants it to be. its time to show them how we feel and how they treat us. just let it go once and not think ab out it anymore, what good does it brings? i really don't feel pleased when i saw your expression. cheerup?

herehere, to that guy that thinks he is oh so good-looking:
i hate to see you as you give me those shock stares and than try to do your 'thang' with the girl you're with. it doesn't impress me much, it disgust me more. rumours are rumours, its like i don't even know you.

to salihin: you're such an ass with a nest on your head!

TWISTED THOUGHTS

2006-02-06T21:22:00.000+08:00

i thought i'll have to put a stop to blogging again, but i've failed. i don't know why but i feel that i need to type cause i'm so freaking bored when i'm home, online, even with the television infront of me really bores me up.
i think i'm really weak, i just can't stop getting sick and all. its so frustrating when my parents said to me thats due to my latenights. which is clearly a NO/ i think 90% is because i need to drink more water to prevent myself from dehydrating.
missing from school for friday and today really seems so wrong. i still feel so in a holiday mood. it hasn't stop since then. i haven really sat down and study at all, Os Os, driving me insane. everyone is asking me to be serious, get on with work, time passes fast and so on. tomorrow is Amaths test, and guess what, i'll definately flunk for nuts. i thought i understand the whole damn chapter during the lessons. but when i wanted to revise, my mind was a total blank. i totally forget everything. this is my Amaths bad side.
my throat hurts, i'm just too lazy to pour myself with cups of water but instead stacks of spicy seaweeds and worse spicy fried rice my mum cooked. the doctor was really like shit, he never check my temperature, he didn't give me anything thing for my throats which was the main pain. he just gave me antibiotics, cough syrup and flu medicine instead.
okay time for my medicine.

SAVE YOURSELF

2006-01-12T16:23:00.000+08:00

its been long since i've update huh
been sick for a couple of days already, skipped school and work
but today i think i need to attend work and i know my mum is quite unhappy about it
sometimes its just so nice to be sick, really thank my mum for her accompany last night and my dad for making breakfast and lunch for me today.
i really love my demi alchemy ring!! although its gothic and whatever, i know i jus love skull.
now kelvin's in the la viva family haha, gonna see him at work later.
ace is back i guess, i don't understand why wouldn't they jus let her leave and stop allowing her to play those stupid disappearing games.
by the way, i jus can't stand the look of that fugly girl, tiffanie you should know who the hell i'm referring to. its like whats your age? can you jus grow up, we don't even have any conflict between each other and its like we barely even know each other. so don't gimme that look, why do you look so afraid when you see me or i mean a look of hatred. i think being nice to some people are just not worth it.

2006-01-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

stressful. it was just the third day of school and like manymany months before my o's, i'm getting real stressful. lao shi just can't stop reminding us about it, every lessons are all just naggings. everything was just so strict, but only to us. conduct rating la, cannot be late la, cannot sleep la, cannot wear more than two earrings la. or else we won't get out testimonial. all these are getting over-rated. i know she meant good for us, i'm thankful for that, but she's stressing the hell out of us. which i'm supposed, its 'good'?
i'm getting so jaded. i'm still working at la viva, should i quit or when should i quit? i really don't know. do i want money or results? the answer is definately results, to make my future a bright one and making my parents feel content. going to work later makes me feel such a dragg, probably i jus gotta cut down my working days. band is resuming, wednesdays and fridays are the practises. i think i'm gonna be so tided up. i think i need to gulp down lots of coffee to keep me energetic and awake, better word to describe 'function' my body and all.
sunday, gig?!

2005-12-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

its been long! reason? its because i'm lazy and don't feel like blogging for days. got my new phone a couple of days ago, its not bad thouu simply just what i've wanted. anyway yesterday i had a day off and i thought i'll be meeting jissoc and all but she said her day was full or something like that. okay i jus hope we'll meet up before yyou leave alrightt.
wanted to get food for larry at pasir ris but my sister was sleeping thru-out the afternoon and it was raining anyway so we didn't. went for foot massage and shoulder massage yesterday. it was a good experience but at some time it really hurt badly like you wanna stop but you can't.
came home i sleep thru the whole night till morning and my dad was asking why did i sleep so early last night cause i usually don't.
todays work was pretty alright. felt quite sad for yanie, if i was her i really don't know how i'm gonna like face so many problems at a time. maybe i'll just really need a break, but she isn't me, she's pretty stronger as she still attend work. i don;t know if my supervisor is like still fucked up or she's just two faced like some times i jus feel like asking her to fuck off my sight.
school's starting soon and i haven got my school list probably i'll get tomorrow and i hope popular will be open on sunday and all those shops in town will be open so that we could go shopping.

2005-12-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday, results out! i did pass but i was expecting better marks. anyway, its over so, if i've pass i'm content. went to meet the 3 sisters at starbucks, had steamboat for dinner with family and kelvin's party. met up with many peers that i've haven seen for quite awhile. chatschatschats, i've nothing much to say thou, cause once i open my mouth arguements and insults starts. idiotic guys, forever. even after so long, they still will not let me receive some nice comments from them. i thought kelvin's lil godsis was pretty cute so i kept playing with her until the moment she start jumping on me and poking her fingers into my eyes. haha
lorry ride was great and rare.

almost woke up late for work today. shiitts i need to work 6 days this week, i'm gonna be so exhausted. asked theru about double pay and tips today. a pleasant feedback, we're gonna get tips again cause he helped me to talk to nick and lily i guess. double pay, thursday then say. probably tomorrow i'll get my cheque and i hope it really will and they meant it. i need to work on new year's eve this is shittt i don't know whether it will be fun, but i know it will be really busy/ i wanna spend some time with my friends man but i also don't wanna get *86.

ohh jissocc oh jissocc! it was so great to see you again after so long but with danny?! OH NO. jiselle how can he spent time with you before me, stupid faggott. haha

last but not least, i really hate those fucking guys that always claim or predict that this girl or whoever like them when the girl don't even say a shitt like that to them. heyy i'm telling you this, i treat you like a friend like any other guy, you're over-thinking. don't be such a egoistic piece of fuck, look at the mirror. i don't like ah bengs for your information. if i like i will say i won't ask my friends to woohaa wohaa when they sees you. and the reason for them always doing that is because:they jus know we talk and message last time, feeling curious and thinking something is going on and they loves to disturb. don't spoil my pride and reputation you fuck. you will make me hate you if i hear some more of this shits.

2005-12-17T02:22:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling so uncomfortable now, thanks to bryan. went music underground last night haha its so ah beng. the way they shake is super funny and the pole dancers were so ACTIVE.
this caused me to miss my dental appointment for deband and guess what? my appointment for deband is nec year. i'm so fucking angry with myself, my dad or just with everything
i was so unhappy, the day that i'm dying for.
work was pretty okay today business wasn't that crowded. time pass so fast for me, cause i was handling inside. ssaturday and sunday no work yes.!
majjoc i took a sunday off for you so be sure you dont change plans ar/jissoc is back on sundayy! haven found something for her yet. hmmm.
okay that jack daniel's guy is pretty cute as i am a so called 'racist'. yes i do friend other races but not like and this is the only one that caught my eye haha. but whatever i'm not those kind of girl that go googoogaagaa.

would you jus leave my nose alone!

2005-12-15T15:23:00.000+08:00

arghh! i'm sick once again like probably everyday. only that today's a lil worse.
sometimes i jus wanna pluck my damn nose off and operated on a non-sensitive one.
i'm so annoyed with the fact that someone's using my son's name
its like how in a world have anyone name luzyc?!
thats reserved for my son fuckk! i know i sound insane but only my c. friends know,
its my son's name rightt?! i'm gonna ask the freak out of that ass where did she get that
and put it as her online nick, my obs friend wth. oh don't tell me she is in love wit luzyc?! no!
his not born yet rightt?! okay i'm mad i'm gng crazy oh damnnit wth!
after so long, today i took some time to browse thru friendster.
pretty pretty, all of my primary skool friends changed
but not me. why why why?!
okay no cutie page jus now cause i was lazy.
i've still got to work later...
today got some stupid media shits again. ohnoo pls don't ask me anything about the food
no wine bottle opening again, its like so shit, i did 4-5 last night and i took long
for the first bottle i didn't broke the cork after bryan took it and they claim i did
oh whatever
i 'hope' i smoke so i can slack and say some stupid excuses like 'smokiing break ar take care of my section. i feel that lily thinks i'm the one that always don't admit to my wrongs. but heyy you don't know me i'm a honest chap yo. i sold an evain and a wtm! good job hurr gimme a round of a plause and a pad on my shoulder. okay i'm insane i'm talking to myself in such manner. byee

2005-12-13T14:48:00.000+08:00

i'm totally stuck with the ps, i can jus continue for hours and hours non-stop until my mum got tempted and ask me if i got puzzle bubble in it cause she like. i was like hell no, i didn't take that cd home. but i got the computer one, so she played but there was something wrong with the cd but she stil carried on. its so cute to me that mums are attracted to play this kind of computer games, that reminds me of michelle's mum whom likes playing pac-man.
fuckk razor! i waited for it for half an hour jus for the queue and you know what they say?! 'sorry, out of stock currently' i wanted to punch that guys face. than more brain-washing from my sister and friends saying 'no dont buy razor, no value. buy nokia buy nokia. razor so common now alot of ppl got.' i'm like shitts! i dont know what the hell to get. i want N91, but its isn't out yet and it cost a bomb for me. there's no nice nokia phones at all.
2 more hours to my re-test, and i haven even started memorising. this is craazy, what a cock-up and troublesome restaurant! after that, i have 4 more hours of work and time to gobble down soft-drinks and ice into my throat ONE SHOT. ladies night special tonight, i hate it! can i be runner?!
I WANT MY HUMBUGS!

2005-12-10T02:58:00.000+08:00

i feel like i'm getting disgusted about religion stuff since the day i totally drop out all my thoughts about being a christian. i know this is something really rude but i dont seems to really care what the hell ppl thinks about my thoughts. caues its my thinking and thats just the way it is. partly of my good friends are christian and i was once too. i know how good and happy things can be, but after a long while it all seems to be fiction. i can say some of my friends drift apart from me because of their fully-packed time 24/7 praise to god. i find it really too exaggerating. pardon me it i'm saying it overboard. but i try to respect it and understand it, yes i do cause i've experienced it but feel that its all crappy now. my friends are still my friends, no matter what religion they are, i'll respect and treat you the same ways. i know some maybe disappointed to see this but i suddenly jus thought of writing that, i'm sorry.
chilli crab and ps jus now, christy and edmund came over to my house. okay i know ps is outdated but it dont really matters to me but only the games. went to arnold's house jus to borrow it. its better than TV, computer, magazines and food haha. i'm so not girly in the sense of the kind of games they play. i'm totally the opposite i like to play what the guys like and what the girls dislike. okay i've already made up my mind to get razor of something better that have mp3 in it cause i dont wanna waste money to get a nano, cause its not a need. tomorrow i still got test, can you believe it? on a holiday?! holy shit!! its my restaurant menu blah blah and i haven started revising cause i'm turning to the ps. wish me luck at 3pm tomorrow and i don't want and hate to do retest!
sometimes i jus feel so insecure with my friends around. i don't know whether they are being truthful, real or jus whatever in front of me. i don't really have anyone to trust on except my sisters. all those friends that are like so far distance from me, and i miss them. i expect my friends to be understanding, knowing their limits, mature in a way they know they should be, respecting each other and honest. i know in a friendship you cant expect this and that but i think thats the way it should be/ i miss my friends like jiselle, regina, velicia and madj(busy in progress). thanks for being a part of my life and letting me know what friends are really for.

2005-12-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

at last my sister is back today
and she's on her way home
so the weird number that kept calling every morning was her
that cuase misunderstanding to my parents ya
for her unknown arrival
its jus so good to sleep like almost more than 15 hours a day?
i jus love sleeping these days
i can jus ignore the noisy calls and messages
i aint know why i'm so tired maybe its the cause of too much sleeping hours
sometimes i just like to wallop my dad
he can really piss me off and spoil my whole damn morning
example: he wake me up like 20 mins before the actual time
he send me to work half an hour earlier
non-stop bugging me to be fast when i'm super early still
i hate it! but i'm really short-tempered so i recover once afternoon arrived
damn i'm yawning again
where's my payy bosssss!!
i need some more magazine to entertain me.
i think i'll really get a razor and forget about nano

2005-12-04T02:08:00.000+08:00

work kinda sucks
we're back to the 2 day 3 days thing
i'm gonna get another job
i haven get my pay and its so crap
boss is overseas thats why .
went to addicted yesterday
cause edmund got his pay and it was his treat
didnt drink much cause i need to be home ltr
i'm afraid that my parents worry cause
i'm the only one coming home that night
so left early too
my hair really sucks i really dont know
what to do to it.
tomorrow is tanning-shopping-nighty DAY'
haha its been long!
gonna catch up with theroyalass.

2005-12-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

met up with oldies friends a couple of days ago
it was really nice. none of us change much actually since 4 years ago.
talking about the times in sc is quite funny
memories of the spiral staircase will never be forgotten
jus in case dengli is herre, HIIIII!
hahaha
took neo-prints together cause we've got no camera
feel like taking up yoga, should i?!
cut my hair and desaree told me that my rebonding
was not done well that make me feel so freaked up
feel like doing another hairdo style - crist whatever thing
but nobody approved to my decision cause they say im wasting my rebonding money.
arghh what to do?!
yesterday work was so peaceful
probably because ace wasnt there to be so gan-chiong towards us
debb is away to taiwan
goodbye wasnt well
but i'll like to say that she really need to change her priorities in life
i dont know how to exactly talk her out
i know she's not feeling really good but i jus dont know how/
anyway hope she have great fun in taiwan now and forget about the sad and stressed up stuff for the moment
guess i'll have to talk to her about things again when she's back.

2005-11-28T04:28:00.000+08:00

work was okay nothing pretty bad happened
only broken plates and glasses
but not ME hahaha
actually all the staffs are real nice ppl
but only 1/2 of them are much better after work
the supervisor i use to hate was alright suddenly
probably because the guys are gone
who knows?
kitchen staff are the best although they are much older
they are funny nice friendly 2robin wink2uncle and rei the butch
bartenders are talk cocks ppl brian jeremy and raymond
although this restaurant kinda suck at working hours
managers are weird and nice too
theru and raymond thought i was attached, today.
they kept saying really meh?
i'm like no, do i look like i'm in love. haha
closing are draggyyy i dont like it
tuesday and sunday oFF at last i get to release myself.
=)

2005-11-27T17:09:00.000+08:00

getting back in contact with friends that i haven been seeing
but i'm packed with work.
how tired am i now and bored
bought magazines to read but it jus doesnt last long
hope todays working wouldnt cropped up again

procrastinating thats the best thing people do
accepting reality but still returning to the past
living with no regrets but still ponders
thinking why things didnt proceed
knowing the burden is still there
yet lying to themselves

rainy days and mondays

2005-11-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

its raining again
its so cold
so bored there's nothing to do
working later
happy birthday to ace
now o level has finished
partly of my friends are all taking their o's this year
now their burden is gone.
fuck mine its nec year
sentosa soon madj our time has come!

2005-11-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

i'm getting so frustrated this days
and i've been eaating consistantly
what the fuck is happening to me
at last a day of no work at all
went jamming today and all of us were very late
i suddenly just don't have the mood
to freaking sing
i feel that probably my voice is not good
to make the drive and stuff
i feel that i just cant get the emotional singing into myself
its so frustrating
so i tried, i tried to think about things
and i did yet it didn't help much and make me feel so
freaking low and i started to wonder in my mind
i started to think about things that i know i'm over-thinking
so i get down to chill with christy and edmund
played pool and eat mac. then i feel like going home
reached home and bum into this childhood crush of me and my sister
he dress well huh?! nice glasses.
i feel so jaded.

embers and envelopes

2005-11-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

:( badbad. i jus rebonded my hair yesterday
and now i look like a cocked up little girl
arghh whateverrr!!!
i need to cut my hairr?!
skipped work last night
so sorry beeting. and thanks for
covering me i hope they didn't scold ya.
so tiredd
my pride cd has finally arrived
at last, something really nice tehre to entertain me

i'm not as easy as you think, dont regret.

2005-11-14T01:42:00.000+08:00

i ain't know why everytime i have a day off
i just feel like staying to rest.
now i curfew which is at 1230am
i think i'm gonna break it
my mum's still in here angry mood
and my sister guess it should be menopause
went oasis today played 3 games.
la viva is getting so fucked up
went to check my schedules and
nec week i'm only working 3 days per week
its like ridiculous man the hours is so short and 3 days?!
its worse than a fast-food pay for nuts.
so me and christy's going down tmr to talk to them about it.

2005-11-13T03:17:00.000+08:00

imma person that don't really get dreams nightly
but yesterday night i had one
the weirdest dream ever
you know my dream is a kind that if the people i want to see most
appeared in my dream yes they do buti will not be abled to see
thier face. okay probably others wouldn't understand and only i do.
it was so real. the first time ever the person i wanted to see appeared
in my dream and that i saw his face.
i din't really want the dream to end, it was so real
though there was alot of disturb-ance.
i just get back to sleep and continue the dream.
only if its real i wonder
today's work was FUCKED UP.'
thats all!

GIMME ALL YOUR LUCK

2005-11-12T01:51:00.000+08:00

things seems to be wrong every year on my birthday
is there a curse ?!
i'd never had a real happy one
but its okay at least the family dinner made it through
thanks to all that send me wishes

2005-11-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

newton last night
the clams wasn't fresh =(
i feel totally exhausted today i've no idea why
am i so careless?
i dropped the cutleries right infront of the customer
i was like fuck!
i didn't hear properly what the angmoh was saying
and i almost went to clear the plates/
these few days i'm just getting mosquitos bite
i can't stand it and i gonna get dengue feverr?!
was thinking of what to buy? that pony shoe?

talked to regina today. time really past so fast
velicia is leaving spore in a month time i guess
i wonder if we can still recharge like how we were
but i'm really afraid i just feel that i owe her alot
although nothing happened between the 2 of us.
i really miss those times its really hard for us to talk and i don't understand why
i hope i'll get to go out with her before she leave spore permanantly.

yumyum mummy's dumpling soup was great!

2005-11-06T02:33:00.000+08:00

i'm in a mids of learning the guitar chords
and i stop to just rest my fingers cause it hurts
and guess what
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ROYALASS BABEH!
siah la you o level not fun siahh.
haha
today work was pretty alright/
=) back to my guitar.

2005-11-05T02:29:00.000+08:00

today was a rushy day
went to work at thomson in the morning
after that rush to skool for band
come home after that and get my ass to chijmes for work.
okok. band was pretty alright but aaron just need to give his
hairdo a makeover ya
overall sound was better than my expectations
did some side-readings thou it wasnt really good but i
enjoyed it.
work at chijmes was totally fucked up
is my supervisor a sexist bias shit.
she just seems to love communicating with the guys
and treat the girls like ohh so fuck off.
went to stonecove after work for awhile
came home and i'm freaking exhausted
but still i'm gonna watch my TV.

2005-11-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

what a plain and boring day
i asked for it cause i'm too lazy to
change and step out of my house
watched tv the whole day :(
mtv-burned i jus dont understand why
isit only for guys? i wanna see females getting
burned too. sweet 16) my sister called it a bimbo show.
my sweet 16 is like coming you know 9 more days?!
haha their birthday are like woah promnight man.
singapore's is jus boring.
tiffanie is leaving for thailand tomorrow
so lucky as my taiwan trip had been cancelled
but by hook or by crook i wanna leave spore during
the holidays.

2005-11-02T04:46:00.000+08:00

went for work today
its about the same as the previous one
taking orders really scare the hellaup of me
the supervisor is kind of weird and angry-looking
my leg hurts i stand for 6 hours? dehydrating?!
i think i need to sleep now
its raining thats better/
a few hours of sleep is better than nothing.
wake me up after 4 hours.